p.s...................

when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt then call me over!

Get Over it............ ???

 Oh, NO!!!    Has someone ever said to you {or perhaps you've said to yourself}, "just get over it"? 

As a therapist, people often tell me that advice is far easier said than done. And they usually feel guilty that's the case. But our inability to "get over it" quickly isn't a failure. It's actually part of how God wired our minds. 

When we have a negative experience, our brains release certain chemicals that correlate with what's happening. Those chemicals act like helpful little messengers that tell us about what's going on in our world.

Yes, our thoughts have influence on what we feel but there is a decidedly physical aspect too. That shouldn't surprise us--with almost everything intangible God ties a physical manifestation to it {ex: the Word made flesh}.

So long after you've decided that you will indeed "let it go" there are still those chemicals floating around in your body. It's like you have an emotional hangover. 

Fortunately, there are some ways to speed up the process of moving past negative emotions...
1) Take a walk - Actually, any kind of exercise helps because it releases endorphins, the "feel good" chemicals God put in our brains. Those endorphins replace the negative chemicals and give our moods a boost. Even ten minutes of exercise can help.

2) Listen to upbeat music - Music also impacts us physically in some mysterious ways. It helps release endorphins as well. And if you move around to your favorite tune, even better. 

3) Find flow - The state of "flow" is described as when you do something that's enjoyable, challenging, and makes you lose track of time. You are completely "in the moment" and everything else is forgotten {including that experience you just had}. Flow might come for you by cooking, writing, painting or any other activity where you mind is fully engaged. 

4) Pray honestly - When we have negative emotions, we can pray some pretty cliche prayers. It's okay to say, "God, I'm really mad/hurt/disappointed." Throughout the Psalms David fully and deeply expressed ALL of his emotions--we can too. 

5) Spend time with a positive person - If you're down in the dumps, find someone who's a little closer to cloud nine. Research has shown that because we're created to be social, we often "catch" each other's moods much like we would catch a cold {but in a good way}. Being with someone uplifiting really can make a difference. 

If you try all of the above and there are still some traces of negativity hanging around, then it's time to wait it out. As you do, give yourself grace. It's okay for it to take time to get over hurt or frustration. It's simply a reflection that you are human {and a wonderfully made one too--even in those moments}. 

What helps you move past negative emotions? 

The smaller one's character, the bigger the shadow it casts.

Character is the foundation of a human being's actions. Character is what determines the course of our life, and it is also why the world wobbles the way it does, because this planet is filled with human beings who believe that making others believe we have character is the same as having it. Where we go, what we do, all of the things that we treasure are all connected with this idea that has nothing to do with real character but with forwarding what we think our character is.

What kind of character do you have? Part of character is being willing to hold up the mirror to ourselves and really take a look. But we don't want to look at ourselves because if we look in the mirror and it shows us something we don't want to see -- everything that we are, all that we have, all that we've done -- what's it going to mean? So rather than look to see what is true, we'll put the mirror aside and look instead at a thousand pictures of the way we want to see ourselves.

The essence of character is what a human being is in relationship with. Constancy for example is a quality of character. Constancy means doing one thing all the way. The man or woman without character is a creature of circumstance -- the object of whatever thought or feeling passes through them. Look honestly at yourself: Do you have a constant character, or does every circumstance determine what you are? Is what you think about determined by what other people think about?

The measure of what a person is in relationship with is that they are able to put principle before person. What are you putting first all the time? What is your principal concern? Is it to be self-loving, self-interested, self-serving? Do you care nothing for what you are in relationship with as long as it satisfies?

We are meant to go through a transfiguration on this earth, a change internally that leaves our character like nothing it was before. We are meant to rise above this present character of "me first." To do so, we must learn to put principle before person. This means putting Truth first and ourselves last. Currently we put Truth first as long as it serves us to do so. There is no character, just the search for comfort. So our new intention is to go in a straight line, to be constant to the principle of Truth instead of to ourselves.

If you want to become a different order of human being, you have inside of you a true character that yearns to break out. You aren't supposed to spend your day thinking about money or worrying about what other people are worrying about. You're not supposed to spend your days serving yourself. You are intended to spend your days sacrificing that self for the higher principle called Character or Consciousness. That means regardless of how you feel about any situation, you put the Truth first instead of yourself.

Are you willing to learn about Real Life? Are you willing to call into question everything about yourself? Are you willing to doubt your present character? Are you willing to stand upon what you see when you're willing to look at your character? Are you willing to do without what you must if you see certain things that tell you that what you are embracing is destroying everything, including your chance to be a true human being?

These are the things you have to ask yourself.

It isn't hard to do. What's harder is to remain a human being without character.

Your life is being frittered away. Do you want to squander it? Then put principle before person!

Understand as often as you can that you need to have one first, and that first is not something determined by your self that's created in any condition of the moment.

How can you put Truth first?

If nothing else, every day, at least make a new aim to watch yourself, to hold up the mirror and work. Do what you can do so Truth can do what it's meant to do for you... and it will.

I am Forgiven...

I messed up. Again. I sat on the porch thinking about what a failure I’d been. What must G-d think of me? I was writing in my journal as I had been every day. Lately, I felt G-d had been impressing on me to only write good things—compliments people gave me, ways He used me, blessings in my life. I didn’t know why He wanted me to do this, but I felt compelled to do it. But on this morning I sat and stared at the blank page. I began to write about my mistake. I finished and looked at the black and white evidence that I was a failure yet again. Then I seemed to hear a whisper in my heart. “Rip out the page.”  I paused and listened closer. “Rip out the page.” “G-d, what are You saying? What do You mean, rip out the page? I need to record this mistake. I need to remember it.” Again the clear message came. “Rip out the page.” I touched the white page of my journal, now covered with writing. Then slowly I pulled from top to bottom. The paper made a sharp sound as it separated from the journal. Only a few fragments of white paper remained where my mistake once had been. The picture couldn’t have been more clear. Forgiveness. Mercy. Grace. It was all right there on the clean, white pages of my journal. G-d seemed to whisper to my heart again. “All of the mistakes and failures you remember, all the secrets you run from, all the regrets and remorse…they are all gone. Every one of them has been torn from the story of your life. You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are loved.” My heart was overwhelmed. I kept thinking about what G-d had spoken to me on the porch.  Later in the morning, I prayed about it again. This time I sensed G-d adding something more to what He had whispered. Daughter, do you know why I wanted you to keep a “good things” journal? It’s because that’s what My journal about you is like. If you were to read the story of your life, that’s what you would read. Not mistakes or failures, but the times you were a blessing, the ways you please Me, the love you show others. The good things I think about you. G-d’s love was so real and strong, so much bigger than I even imagined. I realized at that moment that G-d loves me. He doesn’t just tolerate me. He doesn’t just put up with me because I’m a Christian and He has to. He really, truly loves me. So wherever you are, whatever mistake you have written in the journal of your life, know that G-d has ripped it from the pages. There’s only love. There’s only grace. The story of your life is far different than you imagined…and the Author loves you far more than you ever dared to dream.