Going through my mail today I was delighted to have a letter from a friend in Scotland. Holding the envelope in hand I read the address... "USA" in red right after the zip code caught my attention.
I said out loud, " yes! I live in the USA and last time I checked it was still a free country. I was born here. I live in this culture--- the AMERICAN culture."
Now, as diverse as that may be, it is not a foreign culture or a third world culture. People flock here from foreign countries and third world countries to ESCAPE those cultures. If I decided to move to Russia, Iran or Nigeria I'd adopt that culture because that was my chosen geography. I'm just silly enough to believe that if someone has chosen to escape their culture and country and live in this country... then learn the culture and the language. I don't need to learn the culture you've obviously run screaming from... you need to adapt to ours. Oh, sorry--- that wasn't politically correct now was it. I, for one, will even spend lots of time helping you learn and adapt.
Years ago I taught ESL classes (English as a second language). The prime directive was NOT to allow the students to weasel the teachers into learning their language in an attempt to make it easier. We were ONLY ever to speak English! I had 12 students from Latin/Spanish speaking countries. Some words do not translate well at all. During the classes covering the names and uses of certain outerwear, the little Guatemalan boys translated goulashes into rubbers and it all went down hill from there. Since I didn't know their language I was completely at a loss to understand what was going on. There was such a ruckus the administrator arrived to see what the issue was. Since the boys would not "fess-up" to their joke the administrator threatened to expel the offenders. You might say he had no sense of humor-- he didn't. You might say he was too strict-- he was. You might say he was a power monger-- he also was that. The administrator left with, " I'll be back in 10 minutes and you'd better tell me the truth or you are all expelled." As soon as the door closed, a woman from Peru came to tell me what had happened. I asked her to tell the class that rain boots are not condoms but we'd cover that in a different class. More riotous laughter. When the administrator returned, I explained the issue and the cause of the uproar. He chastised the boys and demanded they be respectful of the teachers or out they'd go. Harmless fun and lots of laughter later I got it all untangled but they never let me forget the joke they'd played on me. And as you can see from this story... neither have I. It all boiled down to culture. The administrator was a first generation new citizen from Germany. NO laughing at or with the teachers !!! NO joking, you are here to learn !!! I spent lots of time with the administrator coaching him about what I considered "my" culture and how "his" cultural experiences were going to be an issue and destroy the program. It then became very clear why we had such a high turn-over of teachers whom he'd chastened into leaving due to his strict authoritarian rulings. I can report that 2 years later, the atmosphere was very different. Herr Strong (isn't that funny) was a softer, gentler leader. However, by then we'd lost two dozen very qualified, mature and compassionate VOLUNTEER teachers and much of our funding!!!
I received this note today: (prompting this blog entry)
Dear Dr. Alloway,
A young boy with little experience and too much authority is crushing peoples' spirits with his "culture". He is demanding and inflexible and borders on narcissistic. Alright... narcissistic. I've met several times w/him to try to soften the edges to no avail. He may be bright but he has little control of that brightness. He is so full of himself... he is very young. I get that part. He has no idea how to motivate people nor has he any idea how THIS culture works. SO... "you have to be sensitive to his culture" is the edict... "you have to understand his culture"... " you have to speak his language". Really? It does little good to perpetuate his arrogant behaviors because that is "his" cultural experiences... IMHO." HELP!!
As with ESL... this young boy needs to learn this culture before he is given any authority or risk his damaging cultural behaviors will destroy and drive away the very qualified and gifted VOLUNTEER leaders and associates.
With them will go thier funds!
Here is a litmus test you can tuck away and bring out when you need it. Those who speak ill of you behind closed doors, in emails and/or txt messages etc. and will not meet with you in person with a witness present to discuss and resolve any real or imagined issues.............. they are lying. Caught in a lie. Making up lies. Spreading lies (gossip) and a cancer in your organization. IMHO :)
Organizations tend to live and die by their Policy and Procedure Manuals. There are policies and procedures for literally everything. Just think about your organization and the number of policies and procedures that guide what you do. Some policies and procedures are written, while others may simply be spoken or understood organizational mores. Or maybe you have a wall of "forms" with which to contend.
There is one policy that in my opinion is the most devastating to an organization. It’s the Behind Closed Doors Policy! You won’t find this written in your organization’s policy and procedure manual; however you will find it written on the faces of organizational leaders around the globe.
Some behind closed door meetings are appropriate and necessary. There are many different types of Behind Closed Doors Policies that are detrimental to an organization, just ask Mr. Enron and Mrs. AIG. The Behind Closed Doors Policy that I’m referring to is this — What I say to you in your face is different that what I say about you behind closed doors. This policy is a killer and often times it’s implemented without even realizing it. This policy is born out of The Fundamental Flaw Of Leadership, which is rooted in not shooting straight with team members and not allowing them to know where they stand.
I said out loud, " yes! I live in the USA and last time I checked it was still a free country. I was born here. I live in this culture--- the AMERICAN culture."
Now, as diverse as that may be, it is not a foreign culture or a third world culture. People flock here from foreign countries and third world countries to ESCAPE those cultures. If I decided to move to Russia, Iran or Nigeria I'd adopt that culture because that was my chosen geography. I'm just silly enough to believe that if someone has chosen to escape their culture and country and live in this country... then learn the culture and the language. I don't need to learn the culture you've obviously run screaming from... you need to adapt to ours. Oh, sorry--- that wasn't politically correct now was it. I, for one, will even spend lots of time helping you learn and adapt.
Years ago I taught ESL classes (English as a second language). The prime directive was NOT to allow the students to weasel the teachers into learning their language in an attempt to make it easier. We were ONLY ever to speak English! I had 12 students from Latin/Spanish speaking countries. Some words do not translate well at all. During the classes covering the names and uses of certain outerwear, the little Guatemalan boys translated goulashes into rubbers and it all went down hill from there. Since I didn't know their language I was completely at a loss to understand what was going on. There was such a ruckus the administrator arrived to see what the issue was. Since the boys would not "fess-up" to their joke the administrator threatened to expel the offenders. You might say he had no sense of humor-- he didn't. You might say he was too strict-- he was. You might say he was a power monger-- he also was that. The administrator left with, " I'll be back in 10 minutes and you'd better tell me the truth or you are all expelled." As soon as the door closed, a woman from Peru came to tell me what had happened. I asked her to tell the class that rain boots are not condoms but we'd cover that in a different class. More riotous laughter. When the administrator returned, I explained the issue and the cause of the uproar. He chastised the boys and demanded they be respectful of the teachers or out they'd go. Harmless fun and lots of laughter later I got it all untangled but they never let me forget the joke they'd played on me. And as you can see from this story... neither have I. It all boiled down to culture. The administrator was a first generation new citizen from Germany. NO laughing at or with the teachers !!! NO joking, you are here to learn !!! I spent lots of time with the administrator coaching him about what I considered "my" culture and how "his" cultural experiences were going to be an issue and destroy the program. It then became very clear why we had such a high turn-over of teachers whom he'd chastened into leaving due to his strict authoritarian rulings. I can report that 2 years later, the atmosphere was very different. Herr Strong (isn't that funny) was a softer, gentler leader. However, by then we'd lost two dozen very qualified, mature and compassionate VOLUNTEER teachers and much of our funding!!!
I received this note today: (prompting this blog entry)
Dear Dr. Alloway,
A young boy with little experience and too much authority is crushing peoples' spirits with his "culture". He is demanding and inflexible and borders on narcissistic. Alright... narcissistic. I've met several times w/him to try to soften the edges to no avail. He may be bright but he has little control of that brightness. He is so full of himself... he is very young. I get that part. He has no idea how to motivate people nor has he any idea how THIS culture works. SO... "you have to be sensitive to his culture" is the edict... "you have to understand his culture"... " you have to speak his language". Really? It does little good to perpetuate his arrogant behaviors because that is "his" cultural experiences... IMHO." HELP!!
As with ESL... this young boy needs to learn this culture before he is given any authority or risk his damaging cultural behaviors will destroy and drive away the very qualified and gifted VOLUNTEER leaders and associates.
With them will go thier funds!
Here is a litmus test you can tuck away and bring out when you need it. Those who speak ill of you behind closed doors, in emails and/or txt messages etc. and will not meet with you in person with a witness present to discuss and resolve any real or imagined issues.............. they are lying. Caught in a lie. Making up lies. Spreading lies (gossip) and a cancer in your organization. IMHO :)
Organizations tend to live and die by their Policy and Procedure Manuals. There are policies and procedures for literally everything. Just think about your organization and the number of policies and procedures that guide what you do. Some policies and procedures are written, while others may simply be spoken or understood organizational mores. Or maybe you have a wall of "forms" with which to contend.
There is one policy that in my opinion is the most devastating to an organization. It’s the Behind Closed Doors Policy! You won’t find this written in your organization’s policy and procedure manual; however you will find it written on the faces of organizational leaders around the globe.
Some behind closed door meetings are appropriate and necessary. There are many different types of Behind Closed Doors Policies that are detrimental to an organization, just ask Mr. Enron and Mrs. AIG. The Behind Closed Doors Policy that I’m referring to is this — What I say to you in your face is different that what I say about you behind closed doors. This policy is a killer and often times it’s implemented without even realizing it. This policy is born out of The Fundamental Flaw Of Leadership, which is rooted in not shooting straight with team members and not allowing them to know where they stand.
I remember changing supervisors one time at a particular job and my new supervisor brought me in his office and said this “Do you want to know what people say about you when you are not in the room? Well here it is," and proceeded to share. Fortunately, the report was really, really great and I was humbled. Frankly, I didn't think they even liked me. Very few ever spoke to me. ( that would be another blog though) But it might have been a very different conversation and I am quite certain for others in that group it was. That’s a great starting place and develops an Above Board Policy.
The policy that I have always incorporated into the culture of my various teams in ministry, non-profit and in corporate America is simply this:- You will always know where you stand and never have to guess.
- I won’t say anything behind close doors that I have not or am not planning on saying to your face.
- I will be gracefully-brutally honest with you and when necessary, in front of the entire team. (this is not an issue of correcting in public; however some issues are more effectively handled in a public setting, especially when the public group is involved)
No comments:
Post a Comment