come, sit a while....

I'm sitting at my kitchen table this morning. The sun is soft on the yellow walls. The coffee cup is warm in my hands.

And I wonder, What would he say if  he were here?
This is the hardest part of being a writer--not having you with me always. But in a way I do.
You know that, don't you?
That I think of, pray for, carry YOU in my heart.
If you were here this morning, I'd make you a pot of tea. I'd pass a plate of  fresh bread  across the table and I'd say.
"Before you start this week, I want you to know--
You're loved.
You matter.
You're seen and known.
And that thing you're worried about?
The One who made you is going to make it okay too."
Then I'd listen long and hard to your heart.
I'd send you out the door with a smile and tell you,
"Come back tomorrow."
You will, won't you?

won't you?

"See you on the other side." ...............

Those were his last words to me......

Then the phone rang just a few days after thanksgiving.
And my heart released someone I loved deeply to the hands of heaven.

No more Christmas hugs or special cheesecake on the deck with one fork.
My heart and my profession make me conscious of those for whom this is not the most wonderful time of year. I’ve seen a bit of “the other side of the manger.” Even in that lowly stable the shadow of what was to come fell across Christ.  

Christmas isn’t just about the merry and bright.
It’s also about Love deeper than we know—deep enough to conquer even death.
That’s where the wildest joy is found.
We don’t have to check our pain at the door of Christmas.
We can bring it, full force, to the One who knows that the manger leads to the cross. He also knows the unexpected joy that can come on the other side...

And when my time is due...    I'll look for you on the other side, dear friend. 

Busy, busy, too busy...............

'Tis the season to be busy. fa-la-la-la-la.....

There are gifts to buy, meals to make, trips to take, decorations to be hung, songs to be sung, places to go, people to see...
It's December 2nd and I'm already tired.
Anyone else?
I read the words...
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
But how can I be still when there's so much going on?
Of course, the first answer is to simplify my life.
Yet the kind of stillness God is talking about isn't just about my circumstances. It's about being still on the inside.
I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother. Psalm 131:2
What is a weaned child like?
One that has learned to stop asking for
more, more, more
and instead simply rests in the arms of
love, love, love.
My hurry and stress come from that want of more. I want to do more, be more, pack more in to these few short days. Then it seems God whispers to my heart, "Enough. You are enough. You have enough. In the middle of the busy, make a quiet place inside and stay with me. My love is what you really need."
I settle, quiet down, breathe a sigh of relief.
The miracle of Christmas?
God came for us so we could come to Him.
Even in the busy, broken, chaos of our lives.
'Tis the season to be still.  

Just for one day... slow down.

Today I'm especially thankful for...
each one reading these words,
the feel of snow in the wind,
the laughter of friends,
the grace that keeps me going,
the whispered prayers you've heard,
the feeling of waking up from a nap,
the smell of  fresh coffee,
the goodness of home here...
and the hope of Home forever with you there.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

What's one thing you're grateful for today?

A New Thanksgiving Day..........

Thanksgiving is a time when we reflect and think of everything with which we have been blessed.
But, it's not a celebratory time for everybody. For some of us, it will never be the same.
There will be an empty seat because death came for them too soon.
An empty seat because one found another table at which to celebrate.
A clean plate set but not used that represents the child that has decided family is no longer a priority.
A silent phone because family doesn't speak-- thinking they'll have another year to fix it.
A place not set for family too geographically distant to attend.
Suddenly, this year...we notice that things will never be the same.
I think back to the Thanksgiving days of my early childhood. I would enter through the back door of my grandmother's house while the wonderful aroma saturated the kitchen. The house was full. The tables were set. We could not begin until every one arrived. Uncle Kenny always the last one in. They'd bluster in with grand laughter, wild hugs and stories of  "how come".
The smell of mince pie and sweet potatoes tempted me to enter and get a taste of what awaited. But, we waited...knowing it would be worth it. Being the youngest grandchild for almost 11 years, I got to fix my plate first and sit at the kitchen table located closest to the food covered in colorful fiestaware. I always got to choose my own colors and they didn't have to match!  That was in stark contrast to the grown up's table covered in fine English linen, translucent china, crystal and shining silver.  This was Thanksgiving.
Year after year, the landscape of family changed. New faces were added. We mourned the loss of empty chairs and celebrated the additions of high chairs and card tables for extra seating and younger grandchildren. Every year different.
Then, I remember the first year that my grandparents were not there. My heart ached that day when we gathered around the table to give thanks. No longer around her table, no longer with the big family, different.  I knew it would never be the same.
But, the older I get, the more I realize, that even in the "never be the same" days, there are treasures to be mined out and enjoyed in the midst of different.
True. The faces have changed. But, let's not miss the faces that are gathered now.
True. Life has changed. But, let's not look forward to the end of the day and miss the living of this day. The dishes will wait.
True. It will never be the same. However, truth of the matter is, it never has been. We have to create new delights as we retell the old stories.
So, let's squeeze all of the life we can out of  Thanksgiving  day  knowing that God has created even this day and still has plenty for us to enjoy.

Blessings this day and every day. 

Are you always 'fine' ??

I just don't have to say "I'm Fine." anymore..........

I read those words on a day when I wanted to pull the covers back over my head. Surely I'm the only one who ever has those days.
And then there it is...
"I believed in you, so I said, 'I am deeply troubled, Lord.' " Ps 116:10
I think of how I might say it...
"I believe in you, so I said, 'I'm fine, just fine, Lord.' " 
A smile starts to catch the corner of my lips. I laugh at myself a little, at how I imagine the G-d who spoke the world into being can't handle my emotions--all of them. 
So I climb out of bed and tell Him how I feel afraid and wonder if I have what it takes. I tell Him I wish I had more courage, more love, more time and energy. I tell Him all of it all day long.
I don't fake a smile.
I don't pretend it's okay. 
Because I believe in Him.
It's an act of faith, like a child running to her father and saying, "Daddy, it hurts!" What father would turn away? Not ours.
I climbed into bed that night, tuck the sheets in around me, lay my head on the same pillow where it rested when I first read those words. I drift to sleep not fearing monsters under my bed (or inside my head) because I'm covered by grace and I know that He knows. 
All of it.
On days like this, it seems the sweetest miracle isn't that I believe in Him.
It's that He--impossibly, stubbornly--believes in me.

When I feel overwhelmed............

Demands knock on my door.

Burdens beckon me to answer.
The to-do list stretches for miles.
I whisper, "I feel overwhelmed."
And in the stillness it seems I hear...
"Child, open your heart to Me instead of the demands of the day. Lay those burdens at My feet, not on your shoulders.
Let go of your list and dare to embrace My grace.
I do not require you to be overwhelmed.
I enable you to overcome.
And with Me, you always will."

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33